Top ten statements I never heard as a pastor

Moroni — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 21:28:41 GMT

10. The service was so great I could not believe we went over by 15 minutes.

9. Do we have to have another potluck.

8. Can't we have a mix of contemporary and traditional music so that our services minister to a wide variety of people.

7. I'd like to do some home visits - do you have any families that could use ministry?

6.

5. Oh you are right - it was announced for 3 weeks in a row, put in the bulletins & newletter - I guess I just forgot.

4. Quick we need to set up more chairs for prayer meeting again.

3. Oh let's not bother with a fund raiser - I will just write you a check.

2. Can't I have a turn at being the junior high Sunday School teacher this year.

1. Oh boy! Its my turn to sit in the front pew!

OK - I only put up nine - but I bet you can come up with some better ones than me (after almost 10 years as a Community of Christ pastor it only took me a few minutes to draft these nine). So add to my list by responding to the post and lets see what we can come up with.

A Good Wife & a Great Steward

admin — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 01:49:11 GMT

The Good Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his
money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more
than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his
wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all
my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I wanna take my money to
the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that
when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.
Well one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was
sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got
ready to close the casket, the wife said, " Wait just a minute!' She had a box
with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and
they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you
weren't a fool enough to put all that
money in there with that man." She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket
with him."
"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with the man?"
"I sure did,"said the wife." "I wrote him a check !"

Humor

Top ten statements I never heard as a pastor

A Good Wife & a Great Steward